Family Law Mediation Services

What is mediation?

Mediation is a facilitated negotiation. The mediator is an impartial facilitator who helps parties clarify their priorities and communicate effectively so that they are likely to reach agreements. In a family law matter, the mediator guides the parties through the process and may give information about the issues that must be addressed. The mediator does not serve as a decision-maker and does not give legal advice. When the parties reach agreement, the mediator provides a detailed written summary of those agreements. The summary is used as the basis for any final legal documents including, marital termination agreements, stipulations and court orders.

Am I required to have a lawyer in a family court proceeding?

No. However, if you want an "administrative dissolution" or mail-in divorce in Minnesota and you have minor children, both spouses must be represented by a lawyer who will sign the marital termination agreement. If you do not have minor children, only one of you needs to be represented. In an "administrative dissolution," you never have to set foot in the courthouse.

What is the role of lawyers in mediation?

The lawyers serve as legal advisor, coach, and drafter. They can help you prepare for the mediation and let you know how your issues might be decided if they were submitted to court. Most people who own assets such as a home and who have children find it helpful to receive legal advice about their options. Using the mediator's final summary, one lawyer drafts the final legal documents. This is a much more focused, cost-effective role than litigation. In most family law mediations, the lawyers communicate with their clients as needed between sessions, but do not come to the mediation session. However, sometimes it is helpful to have lawyers present, and there are cases which will not be mediated without the presence of lawyers for both parties.

What are the benefits of mediation?

Control, choice, participation and informed decisions. Mediation gives you maximum control over both the process and the outcome; it offers the maximum opportunity for participation and choice. If you mediate, you will know exactly how and why everything in your final court order got there; there should be no surprises.

Your own rules and standards In mediation, you can honor your own standards, agreements, and values and your own marital history. You can address any issue that the two of you agree to address and you are not limited to the outcomes that a judge might prescribe in court.

Efficient information sharing. In mediation, unlike litigation, participants agree to exchange all pertinent financial information, including documents. They are discussed at the table, where there is an opportunity to ask questions.

Quality, durable agreements. The goal is quality, durable agreements -- that is, agreements that work over time.

Tailor-made, creative agreements. When you tailor-make your agreements for your family, you can build in mechanisms for making adjustments to accommodate income changes, schedule changes or changes in your children's developmental needs.

Communication break-throughs. The presence of an impartial mediator who focuses on your communication and your underlying concerns helps couples overcome many false assumptions and misunderstandings. This often leads to agreements even when the level of conflict is high and agreement first appears unlikely.

Focus on children. Mediators help parents focus on the needs of their children. Social scientists agree that it is very important for children to be free of ongoing conflict between their parents.

Foundation for a healthy future. People who go through mediation are likely to come out of the process feeling reasonably good about themselves. The experience of reaching agreements together, focusing on the children, and paying attention to effective communication serves as a strong foundation for the future. Divorce is a process, not a single event, and if children are involved, communication between parents will continue long after the marriage is over.

Reduces future conflict and violence between parents. Research has shown that parents who mediate rather than litigate are more likely to cooperate successfully and less likely to engage in high level conflict and/or violence after divorce.

Less costly. In most cases, mediation is the least expensive option involving professionals. Even when participants are represented by lawyers, the lawyer's role is much more focused than if they are handling the negotiations or litigation.

My approach to family law mediation

I recognize that your divorce is likely to be one of the most difficult times in your life, and that it will have a profound impact on your children. We now know that children are deeply affected for better or worse by the degree to which they get drawn into ongoing conflict between their parents. Keeping this in mind, my goal as a mediator is to empower you as a participant to gain clarity about your needs, wants, priorities and options; to effectively assist your communication with each other; and to co-create an atmosphere conducive to dialogue and decision-making. I provide detailed summaries of your agreements, make appropriate referrals, and do what I can to maximize the possibility that you will gain understanding of yourself and each other and create quality, lasting agreements that strike both of you as reasonably fair; agreements that will work for your newly structured family. Ultimately, however, it is your life and your choice.

How often do people in mediation reach final agreements on all issues?

The vast majority of people who mediate their divorces or paternity actions from the beginning reach agreements in mediation on all issues. If you reach agreement on most, but not all, issues, you may use other alternative processes to resolve the remaining issue(s), or you may take the unresolved issue(s) to court. Even those who don't reach agreements on all issues in mediation make significant progress towards clarifying and narrowing the remaining issues, and often those issues are settled through negotiations after the mediation ends. Most mediated "Post Decree" issues are also resolved in mediation, although the settlement rate is lower than it is for divorce.

Is mediation for you?

If you are going through a family law proceeding in Minnesota and intend or hope to reach agreements without having to go to court, mediation is for you. Even if you can't imagine how you could ever agree, if you are able to say what you think is fair and what makes sense for the children, mediation is well worth a try. If you are unclear about those things, talking with a lawyer may help you use the mediation process more effectively. You can always choose a more adversarial process, but if you start with the traditional legal process, it can be a lot harder to come back to the negotiating table. Remember that mediation can be tailor-made for your needs; for example, you can have lawyers or other support persons present, and can do most or all of the mediation in separate rooms if necessary. It's about choice. Mediation is not for everyone; you have to be willing to be your own advocate and to take responsibility for your communication and decisions. If you have concerns about whether you can do this, you might want to consider Collaborative Law.

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